Kendrick is a very nice guy, I think of him as a nice kid but that shows my age as he’s actually just old enough to have a super cute baby granddaughter. In every visit he has been pleasant and easy going. I’ve never felt anything other than completely comfortable visiting him face to face. I enjoyed seeing him each time because he’s personable and friendly. He’s cracked a few jokes that were actually quite funny, even making a little fun of himself.
Kendrick is smart and can engage on any topic, often initiating conversations that show his curiosity, desire to learn, and concern for others in the world. I learned that Kendrick has taken, and aced, a couple of college classes, getting an A in both. Those achievements are not surprising given the way he engages with me and my colleagues. My colleagues who visit with me are impressed with Kendrick too. They enjoy and like him as well.
Kendrick was one of the death row prisoners selected to move to better housing on A Unit, where he had a window in his cell for the first time. Kendrick also got to attend group religious services with his fellow death row prisoners. He clearly valued this worship and fellowship opportunity greatly. Also, Kendrick was able to have face to face contact visits with his family – including two sons he loves dearly - and close friend Tena. These visits allowed a bit of human contact as Kendrick could hug his sons briefly before and after each visit. Kendrick also participated in group yard where he could congregate and play with others.
Sadly, Kendrick lost these highly valued privileges when he was told he’d have to double cell to stay on A Unit. Kendrick so wanted to do so but he just couldn’t because he has severe PTSD. He couldn’t stand being confined with someone else 23 hours a day. He couldn’t trust or be anywhere close to comfortable with that – it would hurt him to an impossible extent - so eventually he was moved back to H Unit with no window, no contact visits, no group outside yard (the H “yard” is a solo inside concrete room), and no group religious services. This was tragic for Kendrick but he hasn’t become bitter. He’s persevered and been the same friendly, curious, and kind Kendrick in this challenging environment. Yet, it’s obvious how much he longs for the human connection he lost.
Among the saddest things is that Kendrick never got to see his baby granddaughter, Denver, in contact; never got to hug her close. She was born after they moved him back to H where those things haven’t been allowed.
As we’ve worked to get some of this human contact and religious experience back, to get him a hug with Denver, even on H, you can tell how he valued and would value that humanity. Recently, with his execution approaching, Kendrick has looked me in the eye and emphasized “time is of the essence.” That’s a sophisticated expression that encapsulates the problem so well but mostly it’s a very human expression. I felt it on a deeper level than mere understanding. Yet, though Kendrick must be frustrated by his loss, he’s never been angry or upset with me. He’s been the same steady nice guy. Yet, I can tell he’s sad about it and so wish I could fix this for him.
I wanted you to know these ups and downs Kendrick has experienced so you can come a little closer to knowing him. Often, we’re revealed in what we value and how we handle challenges. That’s certainly true of Kendrick. You can feel how he values his sons and close friend and wants more connection with them. You can tell how he wanted to spend time with his friends and fellow prisoners on the row. And your heart can know how he embraced and treasured as well the group communion in worship.
Another thing is that Kendrick is not just about him – not by a long shot. He’s been firmly committed to helping his fellow prisoners as we’ve tried to improve their living conditions just a little bit. Having a window, an opportunity to see your family face to face, a chance to worship together, or to be outside for recreation, are things easy to take for granted but Kendrick knows how huge these “little” human experiences are. He wants others to have them even if he can’t. He’s there every visit to work with me and obviously interested in how things are going for everybody. That’s just one reason I added that he’s kind in trying to share my experience with you.
I’m so sorry you can’t meet Kendrick. I know you would like him. I’m confident you’d feel the same way I do. Because, I’ve had the privilege of getting to know Kendrick, I hoped to convey some sense of him to you. Regrettably, my account is a poor substitute for meeting Kendrick and having that connection, but I truly hope you understand. I appreciate you taking the time to try.